Dirty Talk Messages

Below is a list of dirty talk messages that should be used when you can’t see the person you want, and your goal is to make them OBSESS about the fact they can’t have you right now.

Some of these dirty talk messages are fun, some are serious, so use them wisely and don’t randomly use them. Sometimes humor when you’re having a seriously sexy chat can spoil the mood.

1. Hi. I’m horny.

2. I just thought about how awesome you are. And how awesome I am. Let’s hook up!

3. If you were the new burger at McDonalds you would be the McSexy!

4. You’re so f’n sexy!!

5. I want you right NOW.

6. The thought of you is turning me on!

7. Can you send me a picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

8. I can’t wait to see you later

9. You are SO hot

10. I love your body

11. I’ve been thinking about you ALL day

12. You make me want to do BAD things to you …and myself ;)

13. I’m so hard/wet right now

14. I would give anything to be with you right now!

15. I’ll be waiting for you later…naked ;)

16. You can do whatever you want

17. The fact I can’t have you right now makes me want you MORE

18. What would YOU do to ME?

19. I’ve never been so turned on by someone!

20. I’ve NEVER wanted someone like I want you

21. You’d look so hot going down on me :)

22. No one does me like you!

23. I want you so bad I don’t notice anyone else

24. I’ve never met someone who turns me on like you!

25. You have the nicest a$$ on the planet, is it real?

26. Hey I just realized this, but you look a lot like my next girlfriend/boyfriend!

27. What are you wearing?

28. Your body makes me happy 

29. I’m not wearing any underwear… maybe I can wear you later

30. Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.

31. Can I please be your slave tonight?

32. Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated?

33. God must have been in a very good mood the day we met.

34. I think I could fall madly in bed with you.

35. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

36. I wonder what our children will look like.

37. I’d like to name a multiple orgasm after you!

38. I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.

39. I’ve got a condom with your name on it.

40. Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne.

41. What do you like for breakfast?

42. Why don’t you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight???

43. Will you marry me for just one night?

44. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? ;)

45. Don’t be so picky… I wasn’t!  Just kidding, I love you

46. You want me. I can smell it.

47. Damn…..your ass is fine! Want to come see mine?

48. You’re like pizza. Even when you’re bad, you’re good.

49. I would lose my wallet just to see you right now

50. I’m in one of those ‘you could do whatever you want moods’ too bad you’re not here

51. Got any raisins? (No.) Then how about a date?

52. Milk does the body good, but damn how much did you drink?

53. Do you sleep on your stomach? (yes/no) Can I?

54. You so fine!

55. I say we Déjà vu last night all over again later?

56. Hi. My name is (name). I’ll be your play toy tonight.

57. Are you a virgin? (No.) Prove it!

58. My bedroom has a very interesting ceiling. . .

59. So what did you think of me last night? Pretty fantastic eh?

60. You’re on my list of things to do tonight.

61. OH GOD! OH GOD! Just practicing ;)

62. Do you know how to use a whip? hehe

63. I’m drunk.

64. Didn’t anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me??? I thought you knew!

65. Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?

66. Your place or mine?

67. You *will* come home with me tonight (Jedi mind trick)

68. I’m gay, think you can convert me?

69. I’m just looking for a friend with benefits (Uhm?) No not sex. A car, nice stuff, etc. Get your mind out of the gutter.

As always we had a lot of fun putting together this list. We know that we’ve missed some GREAT dirty talk lines so please feel free to comment some of your favorite messages below.

And remember – if you want to learn all of the best secrets and techniques to drive your partner wild and learn how to talk dirty, check out a copy of our NO-RISK dirty talk courses.

Good luck!

Evan Michaels & the team

Evan M.Dirty Talk Messages
  • weedevil

    i managed to come up with one of my own x

    my hands are sore, can i have yours ??:) xx i thought it was clever :P xx thanks this has helped me

  • Tama

    “What will you do for breakfast?” He he thought it was funny

  • suzette

    Roses are red,violets are blue. I like spaghetti, Lets go fuck.

  • yomomm

    How do you like your eggs in the morning…scrambled.. or fertilized ;)