Imagine…
It’s Friday night and you’ve had a lonnnnng week. You have been looking forward to some hanky panky with your lover for DAYS now.
You decide to surprise them with some new moves.
After everything going quite well, you are thinking ‘you didn’t expect THAT did you!’ so you ask them:
“do you like that?”
And they say:
“it’s different…”
Yikes!
Your confidence is crushed.
You try to revert to what you know works, but now you are embarrassed you even strayed from your old methods.
What were you thinking!?
Now you want to do something, ANYTHING else because you are humiliated inside…
Well, the good news is if you are reading this, I can help YOU avoid future situations like the above which, depending on how long you have been in your relationship, could cripple it.
Dirty talk is a fun topic. I have created an entire website about it because it’s an art form, something that takes time to master.
But today, I am going to give you 5 dirty talk bombs that, IF you learn to avoid, could SAVE you from future embarrassment or awkwardness.
1. Hairy
Let’s face it, anytime you said the word hairy in a sentence, whatever you are talking about CAN’T be good.
What’s good AND hairy… nothing.
I’m not saying hair isn’t good, but if you notice excessive amounts of hair on someone and actually say something to them, you could emotionally devastate them.
2. Weird
“How does that feel baby?”
“Weird…”
…ouch!
Weird is not a good word to use sexually. It’s another way, a NICE way, to say bad or don’t ever try that on me again!
In a worst case scenario you don’t like what your partner is doing, and you don’t really care that much about them, then it’s suitable. But if you don’t want to destroy their confidence… lie!
3. Interesting
There is a look that goes along with the word interesting in the bedroom. It is usually paired with raised eyebrows and feigned interest/excitement.
It is a word that does not belong in your dirty talk vocabulary as it is INSTANTLY associated as obvious disapproval.
“Do you like my sexy new haircut?”
“It’s… interesting!”
“You hate it DON’T you!”
4. Small
Nobody likes to hear the word small in the bedroom.
What is good AND small?
Small booty, small boobs, small package, small lips, small eyes, small nipples… NONE of those are good.
If your partner suffers from smallitis, it would be in your best interest not to mention it. For some reason, BIG is sexy, so if you ever feel the urge to use small, replace it with big.
Big booty, big boobs, big package, big lips, big eyes, big nipples… see! With the exception to the last one (unless you’re into BIG nipples) that tiny change equals better dirty talk.
5. Different
The d-bomb is a great way to make your partner feel like a complete outcast.
People want to be better, not different.
“Aren’t I better then your ex at [verb]?”
“You’re different.”
Zing. That hurt.
Remember, dirty talk is about making your partner feel sexy, and that you are comfortable with and enjoy their company. Don’t make them feel… different!
Hopefully your dirty talk iq has now been raised a couple notches, and from now on you will avoid (unless you want to) humiliating your partner at their most vulnerable time.
Thanks for tuning in!
I hope you enjoyed my article, and please tweet / fb this article to share these possible relationship-saving tips with others.
Stay sexy!
Evan Michaels
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
haha i loved this alot. and maybe instead of big guys could say nice or sexy
xoxo
d
i think i completely ruined the mood before with my guy by saying weird. Ooooops!!!!!
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